But enough about me…

Have you ever met someone who doesn’t know how to form a sentence that doesn’t begin with “I”? Every conversation with a person like this revolves around what they think, what they did today, what they did one time when such-and-such happened to them. Not surprisingly, people like this don’t tend to have a lot of friends. (Which seems to make them even more self-centered and desperate to tell anyone who will listen all about “me, me, me!”)

It’s exhausting spending time with someone like that, because no matter how good of a listener you try to be, the relationship will never be truly equal. If you know someone like this, think about it: when was the last time that person showed sincere interest in you? Other than, of course, “So what do you think about me/my problem/my non-issue that I’m only talking about because I love to talk about me?”

This particular subject is a hot button for me because I’ve been guilty of it myself. Funny how working in public relations and understanding the need to engage people professionally took so long to click for me personally. Just as you pitch your product or service in a professional setting, you’re pitching yourself (as a potential friend, date, whatever) in a social setting.

Recently I’ve noticed this behavior a lot in social media – the online tools that people and organizations are using to cultivate relationships, whether they be friendship, business or some combination of both. And with so much going on in all our lives, what’s the quickest way to lose somebody’s attention? Blathering on about things that don’t matter to anyone else but you.

When I try to explain to skeptics why Twitter is an awesome tool, for example, one of the responses I often hear is, “Why do I want to sit around reading what people had for breakfast?” Exactly. You don’t. And unfortunately, a lot of people don’t get that tossing out random factoid crap about themselves isn’t going to win them any friends (or followers, whatever the case may be). If people in your real life don’t care, people online care even less.

We all need a little ego stroking once in a while. We all have have things to get off our chests sometimes. But whether you’re talking to a new acquaintence at a bar, on Twitter or in a boardroom, throw a little interest their way too. In any case, the conversation has to go two ways.

So if you still want to talk about yourself, fine. Tell me what you had for breakfast – but tell me why you liked it or better yet, why I might like it. Your breakfast choice may not be my preferred topic of conversation, but at least I know you’re talking to me, and not just to anyone who will listen.